Escape the matrix · from inside the cage

Andrew TaterillaTOP G. LOCKED UP.

“What color is your banana?”

$TATERILLA HIGH VALUE · ZERO FREEDOM TALK LESS · LIFT MORE
Andrew Taterilla, a muscular gorilla with a gold chain and cigar, seated inside a cage
Chapter 01 — The Banana

What color
is your banana?

Answer honestly. He will grade it instantly and without doubt.

The value hierarchy is re-ordered every day at midnight UTC. Today's best banana is tomorrow's disgrace, and he will not acknowledge that it ever changed. Nothing is stored about you — the ranking is derived from the date, so everyone gets the same order on the same day. $TATERILLA has not launched and has no contract address.

Chapter 02 — The Cage

This is not a cage

This is a private compound.

The bars are on this website too. Look at them. They have been there since you arrived, and you scrolled past them without comment, which he would say proves his entire point about the matrix.

He explains freedom for a living. He explains it from a fixed position, between two vertical bars, to an audience that can leave whenever it likes and frequently does.

The Matrix Keepers come in twice a day to clean, and behave as though they cannot hear him. This is the single most disrespectful thing that happens to anybody in this project.

The Taterilla coin artwork
Struck in gold · issued from inside · circulation limited by geography
Chapter 03 — The Disciples

The compound

Followers

The Yes-Apes

Repeat every sentence back at higher volume. Have never asked a question. Consider this a personality.

Engineering

The Escape Plan Ape

Draws escape plans continuously. None has worked. Each new plan is described as “the one”. He is the most optimistic character here.

Atmosphere

The Cigar Ape

Lights cigars and nods. Has contributed nothing else and is widely respected for it.

Outside

The Matrix Keepers

Clean the compound. Act as though the shouting is weather.

Outside

The Media Monkeys

Arrive with cameras, shout “cancelled”, and leave with footage he considers promotional.

Structural

The Bars

Not a character. Present in every scene. Never discussed by anyone inside.

Chapter 04 — Current Value Level

The numbers

Token statusNOT LAUNCHED
Contract addressNONE — DO NOT TRUST ANY
Market capUNAVAILABLE
HoldersUNAVAILABLE
LiquidityUNAVAILABLE
FreedomZERO

$TATERILLA has not launched. There is no contract address, no pool and no market. Those rows read UNAVAILABLE because nothing has been measured, not because a number is loading. The last row is a joke and is the only row on this page that is one. If anyone shows you a $TATERILLA contract address today, it is not ours.